Forget New Year’s Resolutions: How to Set Real Goals to Advance Your Career

As young professionals, feedback is one of the most valuable tools we have as our careers progress. We’re still new and rather inexperienced; but as we progress we are not only expected to be able to perform at more advanced levels, we also want to hold ourselves to a higher standard. As the year wraps up, there is no better time than now to reflect on your goals and performance on the job over the last twelve months.

Check out my latest Zora & Alice post to find out how to start.

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Creating My Story Bird by Bird

I’ve been spending a lot of time over the last month reflecting on my personal and professional goals for the next year. It started off as a really trying exercise because I have absolutely no idea where I want to be in five to ten years, therefore making it difficult to figure out what I’m working toward.

After a bit of struggling, I’m proud to say that I’ve made some progress. I can now articulate the type of work I’d like to be doing and the skills I would love to be using. However, I still find it pretty frustrating to essentially be working on a map that guides me to nowhere and everywhere at the same time.

Last week I picked up Bird by Bird, a surprisingly captivating book about writing and life. The author, Anne Lamott, is a professor and in the book she shares everything she knows about being a writer while tying in life lessons along the way.

In one of my favorite chapters, she talks about the common myth that every successful writer is able to sit down and immediately write the most beautiful, engaging pieces of work without any effort. Much like selfish and naive teenagers, so many of us budding and aspiring writers believe that we’re the only ones who become distracted and grow frustrated with the crappy words, thoughts and phrases that will flow from our brains to our fingertips when we sit down to write.

Lamott tells us to stop fooling ourselves, explaining that the process is no different from one writer to the next. She then proceeds to share the following story:

Thirty years ago my older brother, who was ten years old at the time, was trying to get a report on birds written that he’d had three months to write. It was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brother’s shoulder, and said, “Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.

That’s when I realized that life is no different.

The pressure of thinking I should know where I want to be professionally in the next five to ten years is beyond overwhelming. And that’s perfectly okay.

In life, we will hardly ever have a solid sense of what our destination will be. Each of us has a unique story to tell that can only be written one day at a time. The only way for it to get told, though, is for us to start somewhere. Even the best authors had to start by sitting down to write.

So that’s what I’ll be doing doing. I’m starting right where I am, with what I know. Taking it day by day, word by word, and bird by bird until my story has been told.

5 Things I Wish I Knew About the Real World Before I Started Working

This post is part of a blog series on Brazen Careerist being sponsored by JobSTART101. They asked Brazen members to answer the question: What do I wish I knew before I started working? Here's my response ...

Whether you did it a long time ago or you’re preparing to experience it yourself, I’m pretty sure that it’s not news to you that entering the real world after college is no walk in the park. Everyone deals with it a little differently. Some get their degree and face it head on while others accumulate thousands more in more debt just to avoid it a little longer. The fact of the matter is, though, we all have to face it at some point.

For me the scariest part of learning to be an adult is that there are a lot of things you won't learn until you experience it. I mean, I still struggle to even call myself an adult because more often than not I feel like I’m really just faking this whole independence thing.

Now let me break it down for you: I was good at school growing up. I even loved it (nerd alert!). For me it was simple: determine what the expectations were for an “A”, assess how much energy I had to use to meet those expectations, adjust my strategy when necessary, and get an A.

Most of my life worked that way. That is, until I finished college.

There is no shortage of lessons to be learned in this "real world", and unfortunately none of them come with a syllabus or office hours for when you have questions. Here are five things I had to learn for myself since leaving undergrad:

My instincts rock more than I’m willing to admit sometimes.
This is something that I’m definitely still learning more and more about. However, there have been so many times that once I reflected on past situations, I realize that my gut feeling about certain individuals, various situations and how I should respond were almost always right from the jump. Trust in yourself even when you feel totally inexperienced.

Managing my personal finances is hard.
Keep in mind that you’re reading the blog of an individual who not only was required to take a considerable number of finance classes for her degree, worked two summers on Wall Street, loves Suze Orman and understands what it means to be in good financial health (for the most part). So, clearly, I thought this part of transitioning into adulthood would be a piece of cake. Wrong. Just like so many other things about adulthood, there is no way to just study something and be good at it. Not only do I wish that I’d known how much trial and error it would take, I also wish I had known sooner that so many of my peers are struggling with the same thing.

Difficult situations at work suck. Yes, everyone deals with them, but it’s okay to talk about it.
Of course I’m not saying to go to the water cooler and talk smack about your boss with one of your peers. Absolutely not. I strongly advise against that. But don't be like me and feel like you'll be all "whoa is me" if you talk it out. It is okay to discuss things with your mentors and other managers with whom you have a trusted relationship about how things are going, how you are feeling, and what you can do about it. The first time I learned this was long after I had already let the stress of the situation get the best of me.

My parents won’t always give me the best advice.
GASP! This one is crazy for me to write because I love my parents dearly and think they’re pretty freakin’ awesome (Hi Mommy!). However, despite our parents’ unconditional love for us, they often give us advice based on what they wanted for themselves or within the context of a lesson learned in their own past. Sometimes their advice is extremely valuable and saves us from having to learn hard lessons ourselves. But sometimes you have to take the time to think about how their perspective has been shaped, what you want for yourself and whether that advice is best for you. Disclaimer: I won't promise you that if you turn out to be wrong that you won't get an onslaught of "I told you so"s!

Once you have a walk-in closet, you’ll never want to go without one.
Okay so maybe this doesn't quite qualify as an important life lesson, but I just finished apartment hunting and this is something that hit me hard. Moving from a studio outside of the city to a new place in the city was a little disheartening in the closet space arena. I was so close to asking leasing offices if they were willing to turn the kitchen into a closet. It’s not like I make much use of a stove anyway.

Brazen Careerist Launches Network Roulette

Some people are intimidated by networking; and I'd say rightfully so. Even for the social butterflies of the world, it can be an exhausting experience. Add in factors such as introverted personalities, limited time, small budgets, etc. and the networking experience becomes outright frustrating for some folks.

Enter Brazen Careerist, an online community and career center for Generation Y, with a snazzy new tool that eliminates just about all the anxieties you've ever had about networking.

This is how it works. You log into your Brazen account, look for the Network Roulette wheel and click to get started. The first prompt will ask you two questions: (1) What are you looking for?, and (2) What are you providing?

Can I just say how much I love that? I will admit that the first time I participated this intimidated me because everything I've ever learned about networking has taught me to be a little more curteous than to just walk up to someone new and ask for what I want. With Network Roulette you can literally focus all of your networking energy on how you and the other individual can trade information and/or resources.

After answering those questions (and don't be shy...), you will be randomly matched with someone and the 3 minute countdown begins. You will have to use this time wisely as it's all you have to determine if the person on the other side can help you or if you can help them. Once your conversation is done, you have the opportunity to connect with those individuals through their Brazen profile. And, of course, if you've agreed to offer each other something you will want to reach out to the individual once you are done networking.

Now let's just say you're not interested in talking to that person for 3 minutes. You're 30 seconds in and your interests don't match and the conversation is dry. The solution? Move on to the next person. No awkward pauses, exit strategies or having to pretend that someone across the room is calling your name.

And that's it. Simple as that.

But don't just listen to me. Head over to Brazen and give it a try yourself!

Full disclosure: Well there really is no full disclosure since I'm not getting paid or being provided with anything in return for writing this post. I'm simply a fan of the Brazen community, and I'm just spreading the word about the launch of Network Roulette!

Is Keeping Your Goal a Secret Really the Key to Success?

Have you ever had a goal for yourself that you announced to the world (or a few friends) yet never accomplished? Like that time you decided you wanted to lose ten pounds so you bought a treadmill that was eventually used to hang laundry? Or that new kitchen set you bought to cook healthier meals but never used?

Apparently you are far from alone. According to Derek Sivers in the TEDGlobal video below, psychologists have proven time and time again that you essentially trick your brain into thinking you’ve accomplished a goal once you’ve shared it with others.

After watching this video and hearing about the studies conducted, something didn’t sit right with me. And maybe my denial simply comes from the fact that I’m a person who openly shares my goals with friends and family when I want to accomplish them. Yet while I would definitely say that I’ve had my share of failures, I hesitate to link those failures to my decision to communicate those goals.

I think personality types play a significant role in the goal setting process. I’d like to think that if Sivers had more than the three minutes he used to speak he might’ve even touched on this. I don’t have science to back this up, but I find it hard to believe that the results of these studies would be the same if you compared personality types. I’m a highly self-motivated person. I’m not driven by competition with others or, for the most part, what others think of the accomplishment of my goal. My goals are more often than not set up to prove something to myself. However, I don’t keep them to myself because the encouragement I receive from family and friends is really important to me, especially when things aren’t looking so great.

So yes, it does feel good to share your goals with other people. Yes, you definitely do feel like you are taking one step closer and that it’s more of a reality that it was before. However, I think this is where you have to make a conscious decision that your goal means a lot to you and accomplishing it is something you are serious about. Rather than falling into the trap these studies have shown that talking about your goals leads to, take some time to reflect on your situation to ensure that you reach your destination.

And maybe after seeing this video you’ll decide that you no longer want to share your goals. Or maybe you’ll decide that you will only share certain goals. For instance, I would imagine that there is difference between communicating long-term versus short-term goals. I could see long-term goals, presumably more lofty in nature, being achieved less often than short-term goals that may be practical in nature and even sub-goals of a long-term goal.

Whatever it is you decide to do, focus on your goal, determine how you intend to get there and hold yourself accountable; and if you decide to share your goal with someone, so be it. Just don’t let your mind “mistake the talking for the doing.”

Check out the video below to see Derek Sivers' talk on TED.com.

Volunteering Not Only Rocks Socks, It Helps Your Corporate Career Too

I was recently distraught by a comment made by a colleague. An affinity group that I’m a part of at my firm sent out a survey asking participants to provide feedback on the group’s activities. One question asked participants to rank how involved they’ve been in the past years, requesting that those who were not actively involved to explain why. One individual’s response was that the organization is overly focused on community events and not enough on the eminence of our firm. He stated that this is a “disconnect” that he could not fully support.

Stop, Nikita. Pause. Breathe.

To say that this comment frustrates me would be an understatement. First, let me just say that I have absolutely no issue with individuals who are not passionate about community service. While I will admit that I really struggle to understand why it doesn’t rock their socks, I do respect their perspectives. However this particular individual’s comment, in my mind, does not provide a reasonable explanation as to why he or she has not wanted to be involved over the years. Let me explain why.

Community involvement does build eminence for the firm.
I’ll start by addressing the most obviously incorrect part of the response. Whether or not one agrees with the reasoning behind corporations’ involvement with non-profits and causes, there is valuable marketing done for a firm by having employees get involved in the community. For a firm like mine, the primary form of community service we provide is pro-bono consulting work. The relationships that are formed while executing those projects and the word of mouth generated about who we are and what we do is extremely valuable in the development of future business opportunities.

The firm also uses community involvement to build eminence for the firm by supporting employees who go out into the community via partnerships with local non-profits and organizations. This is typically done throughout the year, often organized with small groups at the employee level. The firm also supports community service by organizing a specific day within the year where everybody in the country leaves the office on a Friday to spend the day working in the community. All of these events build a strong reputation for the firm in the community through the blatant marketing of our name (think 100s of company tshirts in one place) as well as through the excitement that many of us have for being able to give back with our colleagues in some way.

The actual purpose of the affinity group is to provide opportunities for networking.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again and again and again: attending community service events is one of the best opportunities to network. For me, relationships develop most naturally when I’m sharing a common experience with other individuals. Whether it’s working with colleagues to serve Thanksgiving dinner to the homeless or cleaning up a school, community service events provide an environment where you and other individuals are working toward a common goal and enjoying each other’s company along the way. By creating such opportunities - in addition to the social, more formal networking events - the group has actually succeeded in achieving its mission. So I have a hard time understanding the disconnect mentioned in this individual's response.

Volunteerism also provides opportunities for professional development.
This is something that I’ve noticed that many people don’t see. Yes, volunteering gives you the opportunity to do something worthwhile, make an impact (however small), and feel good about it. That’s why most of us do it. However, while you may recognize that you are offering something of value to the organization you are working with, also recognize that they are offering you opportunities in return.

Skills-based volunteerism provides individuals with the opportunity to take on roles within non-profits and other organizations that allow them to both utilize and further develop skillsets. Whether you are simply looking for an opportunity to use your expertise in a new environment or you are looking for an opportunity to try something completely new, volunteering can help. Furthermore, it is a great opportunity to seek feedback on your performance from the leaders and employees of the organization.

Lastly, volunteering provides opportunities for career growth by providing you with a safe environment to explore both personal and professional interests. Volunteering for an organization is an excellent way to learn about a new field, develop relationships with current employees, and get your foot in the door if you are looking for a new job. Any way you look at it, it’s an investment that is guaranteed to pay off. As Melissa Maddox Barnes, Esq. states in her post on the Womanifesting blog, “Who knows, you may be able to volunteer your way into your dream job.”

A savvy professional is able to see the opportunities to build eminence for the firm, develop one’s network and take advantage of various professional development opportunities through community service. It’s one thing to state that volunteerism is not something that interests you as you pursue your career goals, however don’t disregard it because of false assumptions that it won't significantly contribute to your professional journey.

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Review: The Little Professional P.I.N.K. Book of Success

About a month ago I was contacted by the Director of Monday Smiles, a self development company located in LA, California. Somehow a woman named Erica Moore-Burton, Esq. had come across my little ol’ blog (that wasn’t even up for a month yet!) and thought I might be interested in reviewing her book. From reading the still very limited content I had up, she saw that I had an interest in self-development and growth. Not only that, she saw that I love the color pink which clearly meant that I would appreciate the title of her self-help book, The Little Professional P.I.N.K. Book of Success. Excited about the opportunity, I replied and said, “OF COURSE I would love to check out your book.” And so it happened that despite my current reading hiatus, I dug into a little self-help book dedicated to young women like myself.

To know me is to know my love for reading. To really know me is to know that I barely read professional development or self-help books. But lately, due to all of the great recommendations that have been coming my way from colleagues and friends, I’ve started getting my hands on more and more of them. This book was definitely one of the most relevant for me because of where I am in my life and career. It is a small book with twelve succinct chapters on topics ranging from goal setting to support systems to health and success – all topics that deeply interest me. There were things I loved about this book as well as aspects I didn’t love so much. Allow me to share.


What I loved about this book:

There is an emphasis on passion and purpose.
The author delved into both of these within the first ten pages. If you can’t already tell from my blog’s subtitle, I’m very into the discovery of and nurturing of passions, as I believe that they play a critical role in the fulfillment of one’s purpose. And while that’s a topic I’m saving to discuss another day, the authors message immediately began to resonate with me when she brought it up.

It’s full of quotes.
I love quotes! I put them on my Facebook statuses, my twitter timeline, my gchat statuses, my Tumblr and even in my personal journal on my nightstand. They are in as many places they need to be to keep me inspired and motivated to do what it is I’m doing. The Little Professional P.I.N.K. Book of Success is full to the brim with quotes. On average, there is one on each page, and all of them are relevant to the topic being discussed.

She told stories.
Storytelling is the most powerful means to get a message across. It naturally draws people in and allows for your message to spread more easily than it otherwise might. Erica Moore-Burton does an excellent job with this throughout most of the book. As a young woman in the early stages of her career, I am intrigued by other women’s stories of success, failure, triumph, etc. Not only do these stories provide the advice I need as I make my own decisions throughout my career, tey also allow me to feel connected with the individual in a way I would not have felt by simply hearing their advice.


What I didn’t love as much about this book:

The self-assessments felt like homework.
I understand that some people really enjoy and appreciate the activities placed in self-help books. I also get that they are very effective when you are trying to get people to shift their mindsets. However, they always feel like homework to me; and I’m just not a fan of feeling like I have to do something (unless it brings in a paycheck…). I will admit, though, that about half of the self-assessments really did seem worthwhile and I actually considered going back to them at some point. I will keep you posted.

This book truly is for the new professional.
As you know, I definitely consider myself to be a young professional; however there were some things in the book that I felt were very obvious pieces of advice. That’s likely due to the fact that I’m passionate about professional and self-development, have read a lot on many of the topics she’s written about in the book, as well as reflected on a lot of it. If it wasn’t for my natural interest in the topic, I might not have kept reading to get those nuggets in the various chapters that were completely new for me. The reason why I even think this is an issue is because I’d like to think that the woman who seek books like this would have heard much of the basic professional insights the author touched on.

All in all, The Little Professional P.I.N.K. Book of Success was a quick and valuable read, one that I am excited to share with my peers and other young women I come across who are looking to thrive professionally.

Click here to see the press release and learn more about the author.

How to Network in a Brand-New City

You’re fresh out of college and you’ve been plopped down in the real world (some might say against your will) in a completely new city. Many of us have been there before. It’s both exciting and intimidating at the same time, but you are very aware of the importance of building your network. At least, you’re told it’s important. But where should you start, you ask?

Check out my latest post on iGrad for a few ideas on how to build your professional network, fast.

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Ramblings of a Classroom Deprived Twenty-Something

Like so many of my peers, I have grad school on my mind. For those of you who know me well, I've always loved being a student. Not only that, I was good at it. I thrived when placed in the classroom setting with an engaging and thought provoking professor and peers as eager to soak in new knowledge as me. And while not as equally enjoyable, I even thrived in classrooms that required a venti caramel macchiato and binoculars to see the obsolete slides on the front projector.

Needless to say, the idea of going to grad school is an exciting one for me. And while I'm not silly enough to simply enroll in a program just for the heck of it (exception to this statement: if money were to start growing on trees I would actually do just that), my eagerness to get back in the classroom as well as other influences are placing a bit of pressure on me to decide what it is I want to do.

So, to both quell this desire I have to get back into a classroom and satisfy my curiosity about what it would be like at the grad school level, last weekend I attended a Masters in Public Administration (MPA) course at American University. I went with a friend from college who has been trying to sell me on the program... even before his enrollment was official. He has been telling me to sit in on one of his classes for months now, so I took him up on his offer and attended his Facilitation and Team Building class on Sunday. This was exciting to me for two reasons: I'm strongly considering getting an MPA and I am currently involved with some of the facilitation work that my company does for our clients (and I love it).

The course takes place over three weekends with a full day of class on both Saturday and Sunday. I quickly realized that this could only work with a very engaging professor and an interesting topic, which for this weekend was team building. You know: the norming, forming, storming, performing team building. We spent 6 hours on the topic. As in 5+1=6. When I expressed my amusement with this the response my friend gave me was, "Welcome to grad school."

I couldn't help but smile. It was only a few days ago that my manager and teammate were laughing at how much I love to think all “pie in the sky”. I do love thinking conceptually. I’m an ideas girl. And in a classroom is exactly where I want to be again, sitting amongst a diverse group of my peers learning new concepts while reflecting on and sharing our individual experiences.

And for those of you who are thinking it but wouldn’t let me get to it: I am very aware of "how young I am" and "how much time I have" to going back to school. I thank you for those thoughts of encouragement and appeals to my spirit of procrastination. And to those of you who are committed to reminding twenty-somethings how “fast life passes you by”: I'm very aware of my own goals in life and the plans I have for myself so I have no intention on waiting too long either.

The grad school process isn't one that I intend to rush, but I have every intention of making progress over the next several months. That includes taking the GRE, doing some research on various programs, and maybe even applying to some programs if they are a good fit. I just know that the process has to be mine, and mine alone. I am more than confident that it will unfold appropriately as I continue to figure what I want to do and be for the next few years.

In the meantime, I'd love for you to share any wisdom and insights you might have on the general process of looking into and applying to grad school programs!

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Reflections: My Climb Up the Career Ladder

It seems like it was just yesterday that I was reveling in the fact that when people asked me what I do I could respond by saying, “Nothing!” I was a recent Howard graduate enjoying her free time and awaiting the start date of her new job. I had two months to get a reaction with this response out of as many people as possible, especially my education and career focused family members and family friends, and I intended to make the most of it.

Those were fun times, but of course after enjoying my summer free time I entered the real world and hit the ground running. And while I still often feel like I’m faking this whole adult thing, I’ve grown and learned a lot over the last two years.

Last month I received a promotion and officially climbed my first step up the career ladder. Even more recently I was told what my raise would be (once Uncle Sam has his way I’m guessing I can buy myself an extra cup of coffee every week. JK. Or am I?). All of these very adult-like things made me reflect on some of the lessons I've learned along the way. Allow me to share a few with you:

Mentors are everything.
I constantly operate under a “you don't know what you don't know” mentality. I have had so many individuals over the last year formally and informally mentor me. I have developed strong relationships with some of these individuals and have heavily depended on them through my more challenging times. Without their support, advice, understanding and sometimes tough love I would not have grown as much as I have.

The people you work with are more important than the work you are doing.
I work in a project based environment where my managers and coworkers change with every project I’m placed on. I’ve been fortunate enough to move around on projects often, and as a result I’ve had the opportunity to work with many different manager and teams. I have come to the conclusion that I’d rather do work on a less than awesome project for awesome people than work on an awesome project with far from awesome people. Hands down. Everyone isn’t blessed to have managers and coworkers who are committed to their success. Once it’s found, I believe that it should be treasured.

Bad experiences suck but can be worth gold.
There is nothing like a bad manager to teach you how to be a manager in the future. Prior to my own bad experience I had been working with really excellent managers. The type of managers who coach you, challenge you, encourage you and support you. I was told over and over by my peers that I was living the life. And then, as one of my friends put it, I was given a "reality check".

However, there are so many things that I learned through that situation that I would not have learned in the type of environment I had grown accustomed to prior. I not only spent time thinking critically about the type of manager I would like to be, but I also had the opportunity to reflect on my own areas for improvement that I had not witnessed previously. As cliché as it sounds, it was truly one of those “in hindsight it was good for me” kind of situations.

Your career is nobody else’s but your own.
This is something my company has drilled into us from day one, and it has been an interesting concept to me since then. As an individual with dreams, goals and aspirations, you are responsible for taking the steps necessary to accomplish them. While we all know that it cannot be done alone, unless you are proactive about choosing the direction you want your career to take and steer the wheel accordingly nobody can provide you with the information, resources and support you’ll need along the way. It's empowering once you realize how much you can accomplish without a passive mindset. You become more engaged with your work and excited about the opportunities that present themselves.

Those are the four most prominent lessons I’ve learned over the last two years. What other lessons have you learned as a young professional that have been instrumental to your success?

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Despite Popular Belief, Preparation Never Ever Ends

This past weekend, I spoke to the youth at my church on the importance of preparation. It was our annual back-to-school program, and we wanted to make sure we not only sent them off with supplies but also with a meaningful message or two.

The subject of my message immediately made me think of the following quote by Henry Hartman:

Success is when preparation meets opportunity.

After reflecting on it a bit, I realized that it actually negates what most of us believe it means to be prepared. I wondered: If success occurs when you are prepared to meet an opportunity that you may or may not know even exists – far less that it’s coming your way – then can you ever really “get” prepared?

Growing up my idea of being prepared for a test meant spending a few days before the exam studying. Much didn't change in college, even when it came time to preparing for a job interview. I thought it meant making sure that my shirt was pressed, that I'd done my company research and printed out my resume.

But really, that's not the case. Preparation started long before I realized. Being prepared for that test in high school also required my attendance to class and my attention in class. Preparation for that big interview required prior experiences that would demonstrate my ability to do the job as well as strong oral communication skills which I had been working on for years through my presentations in class and conversations with other professionals. Furthermore, acing the test or getting the job was only preparing me for future opportunities.

Preparation is a process that occurs long before you are even aware of an opportunity. Preparation, in my mind, is actually a never ending process resulting from continuous development, a result of constant learning. And while it is possible to take targeted actions toward specific goals, it is not those actions alone that will make you prepared to take advantage of an opportunity.

So what are you doing today to prepare for your next opportunity?

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