5 Things I Wish I Knew About the Real World Before I Started Working

This post is part of a blog series on Brazen Careerist being sponsored by JobSTART101. They asked Brazen members to answer the question: What do I wish I knew before I started working? Here's my response ...

Whether you did it a long time ago or you’re preparing to experience it yourself, I’m pretty sure that it’s not news to you that entering the real world after college is no walk in the park. Everyone deals with it a little differently. Some get their degree and face it head on while others accumulate thousands more in more debt just to avoid it a little longer. The fact of the matter is, though, we all have to face it at some point.

For me the scariest part of learning to be an adult is that there are a lot of things you won't learn until you experience it. I mean, I still struggle to even call myself an adult because more often than not I feel like I’m really just faking this whole independence thing.

Now let me break it down for you: I was good at school growing up. I even loved it (nerd alert!). For me it was simple: determine what the expectations were for an “A”, assess how much energy I had to use to meet those expectations, adjust my strategy when necessary, and get an A.

Most of my life worked that way. That is, until I finished college.

There is no shortage of lessons to be learned in this "real world", and unfortunately none of them come with a syllabus or office hours for when you have questions. Here are five things I had to learn for myself since leaving undergrad:

My instincts rock more than I’m willing to admit sometimes.
This is something that I’m definitely still learning more and more about. However, there have been so many times that once I reflected on past situations, I realize that my gut feeling about certain individuals, various situations and how I should respond were almost always right from the jump. Trust in yourself even when you feel totally inexperienced.

Managing my personal finances is hard.
Keep in mind that you’re reading the blog of an individual who not only was required to take a considerable number of finance classes for her degree, worked two summers on Wall Street, loves Suze Orman and understands what it means to be in good financial health (for the most part). So, clearly, I thought this part of transitioning into adulthood would be a piece of cake. Wrong. Just like so many other things about adulthood, there is no way to just study something and be good at it. Not only do I wish that I’d known how much trial and error it would take, I also wish I had known sooner that so many of my peers are struggling with the same thing.

Difficult situations at work suck. Yes, everyone deals with them, but it’s okay to talk about it.
Of course I’m not saying to go to the water cooler and talk smack about your boss with one of your peers. Absolutely not. I strongly advise against that. But don't be like me and feel like you'll be all "whoa is me" if you talk it out. It is okay to discuss things with your mentors and other managers with whom you have a trusted relationship about how things are going, how you are feeling, and what you can do about it. The first time I learned this was long after I had already let the stress of the situation get the best of me.

My parents won’t always give me the best advice.
GASP! This one is crazy for me to write because I love my parents dearly and think they’re pretty freakin’ awesome (Hi Mommy!). However, despite our parents’ unconditional love for us, they often give us advice based on what they wanted for themselves or within the context of a lesson learned in their own past. Sometimes their advice is extremely valuable and saves us from having to learn hard lessons ourselves. But sometimes you have to take the time to think about how their perspective has been shaped, what you want for yourself and whether that advice is best for you. Disclaimer: I won't promise you that if you turn out to be wrong that you won't get an onslaught of "I told you so"s!

Once you have a walk-in closet, you’ll never want to go without one.
Okay so maybe this doesn't quite qualify as an important life lesson, but I just finished apartment hunting and this is something that hit me hard. Moving from a studio outside of the city to a new place in the city was a little disheartening in the closet space arena. I was so close to asking leasing offices if they were willing to turn the kitchen into a closet. It’s not like I make much use of a stove anyway.

DoSomething.org Launches DoSomething U

I'm so excited I can barely type. Yesterday, an amazing resource became available for all the current and aspiring do-gooders of the world: DoSomething U. Started by the organization DoSomething.org, this website is another tool through which they "help young people rock causes they care about."

The mission of the site is to help individuals passionate about social change make their ideas a reality. In that vein, the site is full of articles on topics categorized by seven "majors" ranging from activism to technology to human resources.

On the site you'll also find videos on various topics. Each week DoSomething U will release a new one on a different topic. Here are a few to get you started:

• How to Tell a Story Through Video - As someone with little to zero (closer to zero) video media skills this was a great intro to me. And if you haven't heard of Andrew Jenks, he's pretty cool. Google him.
• How to Create a Strong Brand - This one is particularly interesting to me because over the last week or so I've put a lot of thought into how to begin branding the non-profit I work with right now. As a business person, I truly believe in the value of branding for organizations, and not just in the private sector.
• Overcome the Fear of Asking for Money - No matter what kind of organization you intend to start, the money has to come from somewhere. If you're anything like me, it's better to start getting over that fear sooner than later!

So now that DoSomething.org has provided yet another reason to stop putting off any program and venture ideas we may have, how long will it take for you to get started?

Brazen Careerist Launches Network Roulette

Some people are intimidated by networking; and I'd say rightfully so. Even for the social butterflies of the world, it can be an exhausting experience. Add in factors such as introverted personalities, limited time, small budgets, etc. and the networking experience becomes outright frustrating for some folks.

Enter Brazen Careerist, an online community and career center for Generation Y, with a snazzy new tool that eliminates just about all the anxieties you've ever had about networking.

This is how it works. You log into your Brazen account, look for the Network Roulette wheel and click to get started. The first prompt will ask you two questions: (1) What are you looking for?, and (2) What are you providing?

Can I just say how much I love that? I will admit that the first time I participated this intimidated me because everything I've ever learned about networking has taught me to be a little more curteous than to just walk up to someone new and ask for what I want. With Network Roulette you can literally focus all of your networking energy on how you and the other individual can trade information and/or resources.

After answering those questions (and don't be shy...), you will be randomly matched with someone and the 3 minute countdown begins. You will have to use this time wisely as it's all you have to determine if the person on the other side can help you or if you can help them. Once your conversation is done, you have the opportunity to connect with those individuals through their Brazen profile. And, of course, if you've agreed to offer each other something you will want to reach out to the individual once you are done networking.

Now let's just say you're not interested in talking to that person for 3 minutes. You're 30 seconds in and your interests don't match and the conversation is dry. The solution? Move on to the next person. No awkward pauses, exit strategies or having to pretend that someone across the room is calling your name.

And that's it. Simple as that.

But don't just listen to me. Head over to Brazen and give it a try yourself!

Full disclosure: Well there really is no full disclosure since I'm not getting paid or being provided with anything in return for writing this post. I'm simply a fan of the Brazen community, and I'm just spreading the word about the launch of Network Roulette!

Is Keeping Your Goal a Secret Really the Key to Success?

Have you ever had a goal for yourself that you announced to the world (or a few friends) yet never accomplished? Like that time you decided you wanted to lose ten pounds so you bought a treadmill that was eventually used to hang laundry? Or that new kitchen set you bought to cook healthier meals but never used?

Apparently you are far from alone. According to Derek Sivers in the TEDGlobal video below, psychologists have proven time and time again that you essentially trick your brain into thinking you’ve accomplished a goal once you’ve shared it with others.

After watching this video and hearing about the studies conducted, something didn’t sit right with me. And maybe my denial simply comes from the fact that I’m a person who openly shares my goals with friends and family when I want to accomplish them. Yet while I would definitely say that I’ve had my share of failures, I hesitate to link those failures to my decision to communicate those goals.

I think personality types play a significant role in the goal setting process. I’d like to think that if Sivers had more than the three minutes he used to speak he might’ve even touched on this. I don’t have science to back this up, but I find it hard to believe that the results of these studies would be the same if you compared personality types. I’m a highly self-motivated person. I’m not driven by competition with others or, for the most part, what others think of the accomplishment of my goal. My goals are more often than not set up to prove something to myself. However, I don’t keep them to myself because the encouragement I receive from family and friends is really important to me, especially when things aren’t looking so great.

So yes, it does feel good to share your goals with other people. Yes, you definitely do feel like you are taking one step closer and that it’s more of a reality that it was before. However, I think this is where you have to make a conscious decision that your goal means a lot to you and accomplishing it is something you are serious about. Rather than falling into the trap these studies have shown that talking about your goals leads to, take some time to reflect on your situation to ensure that you reach your destination.

And maybe after seeing this video you’ll decide that you no longer want to share your goals. Or maybe you’ll decide that you will only share certain goals. For instance, I would imagine that there is difference between communicating long-term versus short-term goals. I could see long-term goals, presumably more lofty in nature, being achieved less often than short-term goals that may be practical in nature and even sub-goals of a long-term goal.

Whatever it is you decide to do, focus on your goal, determine how you intend to get there and hold yourself accountable; and if you decide to share your goal with someone, so be it. Just don’t let your mind “mistake the talking for the doing.”

Check out the video below to see Derek Sivers' talk on TED.com.

Market Your Brand Without Being a Jerk

So you’ve put some work into developing your personal brand, and now you’re ready to start thinking about how you are currently marketing your brand and ways to improve. Well it sounds like we’re both in the same place. In working to develop my own, I’ve been paying very close attention folks around the web with strong personal brands.

Check out my latest Zora & Alice post to find out the three things I’ve observed that I believe make some people so effective at marketing their own.

On Living Life, Working Hard, and Staying Sane

My relationship with balance is a complicated one, and every so often it becomes a bit tumultuous. Maybe it’s the FOMO, but I can’t help but go crazy sometimes with all the things I have going on. My plate is always full, and there are times when I literally feel like I’m running around like a crazy woman trying to be everywhere I’m supposed to be and do everything I’m supposed to do. As a result, every so often I need to be reminded to slow down.

Well it just so happens that slowing down is something I don’t do so well. This is (1) why it’s usually necessary for one of my homegirls to remind me and (2) why it’s even more important for me to do it. Here are some things that I’ve found most useful to do when I feel like my head is going to explode:

Take a deep breath.
This is something that I always feel so stupid being told to do, but it seriously works. On Friday I was practically forced by one of my friends to stop, close my eyes, and just listen to myself breath. I’m always amazed by how something so silly could be so effective. It truly allows me to (begin to) quiet all of the anxious thoughts about things I need to get done that have me worked up.

Make a list.
Typically when I’m stressed it’s because I have a million thoughts running through my head about everything that needs to be done and the lack of time I have to do it all. The best solution for this is to get it all written down. Again, it’s a very simple piece of advice, yet I often find myself needing to be reminded of it when I’m stressed.

Organize your schedule.
I live by my calendar. A few years ago I never thought I’d be that person, but the reality is that I’m such a forgetful person that if something isn’t on my to-do list or in my calendar, it won’t get done and I won’t show up. Sometimes I find myself getting stressed because I feel like I’m supposed to be doing something at a particular time yet I can’t remember. Or I remember that I’m supposed to be doing some things over the next few days yet I haven’t taken the time to get it all down in one place. So right after I take the time to make my list I immediately work on my calendar.

Reschedule and cancel some things.
I like to overbook myself for some reason. I often fail to grasp the fact that I cannot leave an event or meeting at 5pm and immediately make it to the next event that starts at 5pm. I’m working on this. In the meantime though, in organizing my calendar in the midst of my stressed induced state of frenzy I always take the time to think about what I should be rescheduling and what I should be canceling. It’s all about my sanity and doing my best to maintain it.

Give yourself a break.
I feel like a hypocrite telling you this one, but you can take it as good advice because it’s one I hear often enough and try – the operative word – to take heed to. Sometimes I get to a point where I begin losing steam and instead of allowing it to affect my performance at work, my commitment to my passions, or my ability to be there for loved ones when they need me I try to get away from it all for a short period of time. Everyone has their own idea of what it means to get away (in between real vacations, of course). For me it involves anything from a random day off of work to relax and reenergize to a night full of Grey’s Anatomy DVDs and a glass of wine. To each her own right?

Basically, my search for balance often comes once I’ve hit a brick wall of some kind and realize that I have no other option but to take a break. That’s usually when I’m reminded to put everything into context and tell myself that it’s not a big deal if I don’t attend that event this week that I really didn’t even want to go to. In the end, it’s all about my sanity. What good am to anyone I if I’m taken away in straight jacket?

Photo Source

Let’s Talk About Something We Take For Granted: Water

You probably see that glass of water pictured above and think nothing of it. You probably turn on your tap to fill up your own glass at home without wondering where it came from. If you are anything like how I was (and sometimes still am, to be honest), you purchase a bottle of water without thinking about what that means for society at large. Well, Blog Action Day 2010 seeks to change that.

Blog Action Day 2010 and the Global Water Crisis


Blog Action Day is a day dedicated to a particular cause or issue that affects people all over the world. This year’s issue is water, and it is being written about today by bloggers from all over the world – 143 countries to be exact. The goal is to educate and inform as many people as possible about the global water crisis.

Water is one of those resources that is easy to take for granted. I mean, the earth is made up of about 70-75% water. Who would ever think that there could be a global water crisis? But there is. Here are some stats:

• 1 in 8 people lack access to clean water. That’s about 1 billion people across the globe.
  
• Unsafe water and lack of basic sanitation cause 80% of diseases and kill more people every year than all forms of violence, including war.
  
• Every day 4,000 children younger than five years old die from preventable, water-borne diseases.
  
• The UN predicts that one tenth of the global disease burden can be prevented simply by improving water supply and sanitation.
  
• In Africa alone, people spend 40 billion hours every year just walking for water. Time spent walking and resulting diseases keep them from school, work and taking care of their families.
  
• It is believed that water could be a major cause of war in the future. Some scholars believe that the conflict in Darfur is affected by the water crisis.

The Commercialization of Water


Think about this for a second: Is it or is it not ridiculous that we pay for packaged water? On average Americans consume about 200 bottles of water per year. This has enormous impact on our environment due to the petroleum required for production, the harmful carbon emissions, and the amount of waste produced. Then there is the whole ridiculous issue of the privatization of something that is a public resource. Companies such as Nestle enter the severly under-regulated bottled water industry and make billions of dollars by forcing their way into communities and bottling their water. These communities are often left helpless and unable to fight these large corporations, leaving them particularly devastated in situations like droughts when bottling doesn't stop. The reality is that about a third of bottled water actually comes from tap. So when you weigh the benefits against the costs, it just doesn't add up.

The documentary Flow (trailer shown above) was eye opening for me. It highlights the growth of the bottled water industry, how it affects communities across the globe and, most importantly, its effect on the water crisis. If you want to learn more about the issue, I recommend that you check it out.

Making a Difference Today


Like with anything else, change doesn’t come over night. Making an impact on the global water crisis will take time. But it requires a concerted effort by everyone to affect the change we need to see.

While this issue is still pretty new to me, I've started doing a lot of reflecting on my own water habits. For instance, I have always regularly purchased bottled water because of its convenience (grab one, put it in my purse and go). Now that I’m more aware of the issue, I am working to change these habits. I won’t lie and tell you that I absolutely never buy bottled water. But I’m taking baby steps by doing my best to avoid being in situations where I need to buy bottled water.

What other habits can we adopt?

• Take shorter showers: The average person aparently uses over 100 gallons of water per day. You can save up to 25 gallons of water a day by just cutting 5 minutes off your shower time.
• Turn off the tap: Turning off the tap while you’re brushing your teeth or shaving can save about 8 gallons a day.
• Sweep instead of hose: Don’t hose down your driveway or sidewalk. Use a broom!
• Landscape wisely: Climate-appropriate plants need significantly less water.
• Slow the flow: Replacing showerheads with low-flow models and putting inexpensive aerators on faucets can cut water use by up to 20 percent.

You can also take a stance and support the cause in other ways:

• Sign the petition on the right side of my blog under "Support Blog Action Day."
• Donate to organizations that are working hard to increase access to water like NICEF and Charity:Water.
• Fundraise either on your own or with the use of tools provided by organizations like Charity:Water.

We can all start somewhere. And while I recognize the urgency of this issue and the need for all of us to eventually move from taking baby steps to making large scale changes, awareness is the first and most important step to affecting the change we want to see.

Photo Source: Live Earth

Statistic Sources: Change.org, Global Water Challenge and Charity:Water